unsuccessfulmetalbenders:

me: *goes to bed at 5am*

me: *is shocked, angry and doesnt understand why i keep waking up at noon*

v-ayne:

once you hear a parody of a song,
you will never sing the correct lyrics ever again.

whalefacekrillah:

the only crossover worth talking about

  • mom: you realize normal people don't have such strong feelings about the oxford comma
  • me: THE OXFORD COMMA IS IMPORTANT
  • mom: you realize this makes you a nerd
  • me:
  • mom:
  • me: i had a party with the strippers, george bush and barack obama
  • me: i had a party with the strippers, george bush, and barack obama
  • me: without the comma, you are implying that george bush and barack obama are strippers
  • mom:
  • me:
  • mom: this isn't normal
  • dabluedevil:

    lorderebus:

    these people had the worst parents

    White people lmao

    hippiebabysitterr:

    today i heard 2 kids talking about buying fake IDs after school and so i started eavesdropping cuz u know thats big kid stuff and then one was like “yeah but is all this really worth it like im pretty sure the fake IDs cost more than the fish we r gonna buy”

    to buy fish at petco u have to be 18 or older

    they were going to get fakes to buy fish

    whackcalzone:

MY CAT DOESN’T FEEL WELL SO MY DAD IS SINGING TO HIM

    whackcalzone:

    MY CAT DOESN’T FEEL WELL SO MY DAD IS SINGING TO HIM

    sorelatable:

    I hate when i lose something and my parents says “well i guess you didnt care about it enough” like you’ve lost me in a grocery store before so

    thesugarhole:

    if we are talking in person and i accidentally spit dont even call out i saw it and im dead inside

    kylestrider:

    grampas:

    fucking jerry

    god dammit jerry

    freshest-tittymilk:

    glowinthedarkgirlfriend:

    The Little Mermaid TV Series: Gabriella

    Remember when Disney had a cute, disabled, poc mermaid?

    When i was younger, one of my best friends was a deaf guyanese girl, and her fave princess was Ariel, mainly bc she related to her living without a voice (and her love of swimming)

    When this episode aired, she cried and squawked and made sounds that were almost understandable… She saw herself as a mermaid, on tv, with her favourite character of all time

    Representation matters, always, no matter what

    me filling out a job application

    neptunain:

    previous employment: pop glam, glamm magazine, metropolitan magazine

    references: kim kardashian

    hollystewart:

    gettingsweptaways:

    Wow Disney Channel has really expanded its dialogue.

    i know this^ is supposed to be ironic and w/e but being that abcf is owned by disney it’s more of an accurate statement than anything else.